The No Self, No Problem Workbook by Chris Niebauer

Author:Chris Niebauer [Niebauer, Chris;]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 7186579
Published: 2023-01-28T16:00:00+00:00

was able to forgive the victim whose testimony sent him to prison.

While we don’t know his personal path to forgiveness, I believe that when one recognizes the processes of the mind, one is capable of any act of forgiveness. Not just forgiveness of others but also of oneself.

Here’s the thing: Memory forms one of the most fundamental aspects of the creation of the fictitious self. Memory allows us to create a chain of events in our mind that are central to establish-ing the idea that “all of this happened to me.” We can then replay these memories over and over and apply them to any situation.

This serves us well in many ways—our existence would be unrec-ognizable without memory—but it also comes with some problematic consequences. Much of our suffering arises from replaying memories and projecting them onto what we think might happen in the future. This is the very definition of regret and anxiety.

One way to alleviate the suffering tied to our memories is to consciously work to loosen our sense of identification between our memories and our fictitious sense of self.

Practice: Less Certainty about Your Memories When you recognize that memories are not facts but interpretations made by the brain, you may find yourself shifting from “this is what happened” to “this is what I think happened” or “this is the story I am telling myself about what happened.” This simple shift can become a profound practice.

You can try doing this in ways with low stakes. Remember a recent interaction and tell the story of what happened with as much detail and accuracy as you can muster but add the words

“I think” before each “factual” statement. See how this feels in C H R I S N I E B AU E R , P H D

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